xelent’s blog

Watching ‘The Hell of Verdun’ had a real effect on me in ways I never imagined. The horrors of the 1st world war are only to apparent in this video, not least but at the very end, when we see the after effects on some of these soldiers. The terrible remnants of the human psyche and body from the violence inflicted are all too evident from the horrendous physical effects of mustard gas to the chilling psychological symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome, known then, as only ‘shell shock‘. The scarring of souls, forever damned to a life of hellish nightmares and physical disability that is beyond words and indeed often recovery. That we emerged from this war and the next to think and consider that statism was our only saviour is an awful testament to that horrific scarring. That we make excuses for an ever increasing strangle hold on our liberties as a reflection through the generations of that distress our forefathers suffered. That now our leaders are of a generation when statism was booming (1960’s) is no surprise to me. I myself a late child of the 60’s, my mind seared by the greatness of government. That I thought in my own timidity incapable of not being ruled. That I possessed no power to make all of my own decisions. That to me, the ultimate sacrifice was to die in a war for ones country. To die for rulers I would never meet or come to know, except through news bulletins and excerpts on the radio or television. And indeed to die for a country that was itself constructed from within the imagination for those that would wish to hold us within its prison’s shores.

Lest we forget

What is so incredible about this statement, because indeed I find it a very useful indictment of such a war. Is the way in which this proclamation has been twisted to suit those in power. That we must not forget these soldiers sacrifice for our great state and noble nation. That they can so cruelly twist our psyches to consider these wars as a useful application towards freedom is to rob mankind of his own mind. That to consider murder, violence, imprisonment and theft on the grandest scale (taxation) as virtuous and noble is to doom mankind into the deepest abyss of his mind. As to make him swim into the most turgid waters of his subconscious towards a blackness in his heart that cannot see beyond these acts of violence and aggression. Lest we forget the horrors of statist power that can damn our minds in this way. Robbing us of our own ability to feel not only for others but too feel for our own selves as well. That we can damn ourselves in this way and pretend that this is the ultimate sacrifice for morality is a cruel irony of modern philosophical thinking. That we imagine ourselves to be unable to control our futures is by its very nature ruthlessly used against us by the powerful and mighty. Lest we forget how the mighty decapitates our minds into believing death to be more virtuous than life itself.

People have often asked me why I consider politics to be unworthy of my respect. Indeed that I see politics as the cause and not the protection from our fears. How can I respect an order, whether left or right, which insists on me making sacrifices for those I do not know and will never know, perhaps may never wish to know. Why can my voluntary action or inaction be construed as immoral or selfish against whom I will never meet and break bread with. If by my very nature I am meant to be powerless, why then should my freedom be considered dangerous? For those that know me, can you honestly say that I could be a danger to those around me? That I might murder, rape and pillage in ways not dissimilar to this video? Is it possible for me to become like this, as you know me now? In my heart and mind I know that I am completely incapable of these kinds of atrocities. That the only way I could, would be to have my mind and consciousness seared by an anti rationality and a taught belief in my own timid powerlessness. A stolid choice to believe in my own inability to make important choices and decisions for the improvement of my life. Because they have been taken from me by righteous dictate for the ‘so called’ betterment of others. That these men could throw themselves into a war which so obviously wounded and killed many men before them is testament to a belief that ones own life was superfluous to that of others or was for the benefit of the greater good. That one can throw their life away so carelessly for those in power for whom they would never meet or engage with, is incongruous with ones very will to survive. That to sever ones consciousness from the reality of the destruction it reeks and to say that it is a good thing to die. That indeed to say that I die so that others may live should not be considered as perverse in the most extreme. That I should consider my own death as a benefit to others, when in life I could bring more joy and happiness to them around me than I ever could in my death. No, only the most deviant amongst us, our rulers, can suggest this subservience of the mind to our fellow man. That they can indeed throw away our lives with such disdain and dishonesty as to make us beholden to them. That we can think of them as our benevolent leaders that seek out our own personal justice and peace. That they can distort our own view of ourselves by turning us against our very own natures.

Of course people will suggest that we are no longer thrown into these wars anymore and indeed I agree that the state would have a hard time convincing us of this kind of sacrifice for the greater good anymore. That they do indeed try, as they seemingly enjoy taking large swathes of power from us in the form of stories about terror and fear. That they will always seek ways to undermine our very natures through our projections and fears of others. That they seek to take away our will for survival and replace it with the needs of others. Peoples wills are stronger today than they were during these world wars. At that time, statist rule was considered a new path to glorious harmony. Can any of us seriously say that today? Of course to me I see only the irrational mechanics of our religious pasts being foisted onto the modern citizen, as if by it’s very being ‘the state’ replaces God as the new saviour of our lives. That we see ourselves as small and insignificant to that of our chosen masters. That we embrace our own mental slavery and presume that our masters mean us well. That they will feed us, clothe us, provide us with health and shelter and indeed protect us from ourselves with security such as their police and armies. That we can now enjoy the fruits of some of our labour in the form of holidays, mobile phones, international cuisine. That many of us still presume that this has been provided to us by our munificent rulers is to disregard the individuals that thought long and hard about our self improvement and took great personal risks to themselves both financially and personally. That to profit individually, is not to profit those around us, is to be inconsistent with what we see with our own eyes. That the world has indeed profited from the profit of others in the form of mans inventions in medicine, food production and mechanical devices. That as individuals they had their own personal vision that could and indeed did transform the world in ways we never imagined. Why should not a person such as this profit from that risk? Why are they to be considered as selfish and greedy? What one of you would say they cannot benefit from their own labour? That to sit around benefiting from others should be seen as meaningful to the minds and passions of them that provide us with more time with our friends and families. That my own days labour should be taken from me for the benefit of those I will never even know. As if by its very essence I preserve them like a specimen in a bottle for the posterity of future unknown generations. That if indeed the future generation is worth considering this way, why not my own? If we say the future generation deserves more than us, what say that generation when considering its own anonymous future generations. To have sympathy with a generation that is yet to exist at the exclusion of ones own very real existence is to not be considered as discordant with our own personal will to survive. Should we not consider this as a maddening of our minds? To whom are we forfeiting our pleasures, wealth and happiness? Who gains from this ignorance of our own desires? Our leaders complain and grumble how they themselves have given up great wealth and careers for serving us with our needs. That this lie can be so manifold in nature and consistent. That our senses are so dulled into contrition as to not see the resultant greed and lust for power that is so well exhibited by their action or inaction. That to give ones power to someone you don’t even know personally with a trust so strong that we would unlikely extend too our own friends and family. What kind of madness or sickness of the mind is this? That never questions, merely grumbles momentarily about their ineffectiveness.  That we watch these parasites of the mind (politicians) praise fallen men that have been sent into a senseless battle for their own pernicious desire to have power over all of us. That these parasites can be considered as honourable, whilst we consider all others as untrustworthy? At what point do we take self ownership for ourselves and rise above the ashes of our minds and say enough with being ruled, enough with being told how to feel through a preordained morality, given to us by them that wish to profit from us with no reciprocation. That to take from us is seen as a right and just part of living in a world with others. When do we say this is my life to choose for myself how I live and partake in it. That to take from others by force, when few complain, is to desensitise oneself from the violence used in extracting it.

There is something quite liberating about dancing, particularly when you can. I guess I've been blessed with a lean frame and a good understanding of beat and rhythm, that I was always able to express myself quite well in dance. I feel completely comfortable on a dance floor, as I allow myself to be completely enveloped by the music and I can transfer myself to a place that can only be described as heavenly, not to mention joyful as well. I think we are all capable of this, except for many people they feel uncomforatble being looked at by others. I haven't trained or been instructed in dance, but I did learn to gather my confidence with how my body reacted to music and decided to go with it. This brought about a huge sense of liberation like no other. Lets face it, it is very rare to express yourself in public without people attacking you. But when you dance how you feel, people notice you and become transfixed and rarely if ever complain about this kind of expression. Somehow, people take it for gratis that the way you move in dance is personal to you and admirable in its construction. Just so long as you are doing it for yourself, rather than others.

Now something that I was unaware previously about this song was that it was originally a song for black slaves. As described by the YouTube author of the video.

Now there is something quite synominous with ones fight for personal freedom within the self and that of the freedom to dance in an entirely expressive way for which people will implicitly understand. To be able to show people the way you express life (with integrity), like dance, albeit often seen as extreme in nature, can be liberating for those watching you from the periphery. If you can live a life with virtue, being true to yourself and your feelings, people around you cannot help but notice and be drawn to you.

So, for all of you out there desperate to be understood by your fellow man, why not try to understand your own feelings first and express them in your way, with the confidence of your own virtue and integrity. You will be guaranteed an audience of like minded souls for sure. Once you become yourself, no one will criticise you and the scent of your fear will have disappeared completely. So people, keep wading in the water and try to escape the serfdom that tells you to keep those personal expressions in check. Those expressions are there to inspire others..

More info about the origins of this song can be found here.